We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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