He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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