Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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