I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
