tell your sister to shave her snatch
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
