Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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