i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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