I need to stop coming to work sober
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
