I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He better not be in your backpack
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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