i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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