Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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