haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
