I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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