she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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