Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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