She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
