I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
