I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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