But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
