i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she told me i tasted like america
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
