Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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