I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She's the barista slut.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
