Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Hippo gnu deer
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
