You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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