yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
In America we eat man semen.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
