I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
