I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
