I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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