i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
