We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
