Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
