Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just gift wrapped bread.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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