You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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