so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
