it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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