sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
