I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Randomize
