OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
