4 words: hood of his car
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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