So drunk its hurt
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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