i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
