Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
