Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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