i think my tv is drunk
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
