Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
