Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
