Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
