some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
