I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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