i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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