And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I have so many feelings about this burrito
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
