I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
