Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i dont even know how to be here
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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