you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Randomize
