When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
tonight lets celebrate not being married
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
